I stumbled across this precious song by Tracy Chapman a year or so ago, and it made me cry.
Though I realize it was written for more of a romantic type of relationship, the lyrics truly apply to me and my daughter…
“If you wait for me, I’ll come for you…”
“I always hold a place for you in my heart.”
“If you think of me, if you miss me once in a while,
then I’ll return to you.
I’ll return and fill that space in your heart.”
She tells the pastor how she can’t wait until I am there and we can hold one another, and as she says it, “make up for all the love that we have missed” while we’ve been apart.
I’m so proud of her, of how patient she’s been during this long time of waiting. This year has felt terminally long to me, a 40-something woman who feels time zips by faster every day. I can only imagine how long it’s felt to a child, given their elongated perspective of time. I remember how school days felt so long, how it felt like at least ten years spread out between birthdays and Christmases.
I can only imagine how much slower time passes when you’re a child living without the love of a family, going to bed hungry and cold and alone. It must feel like an absolute eternity.
Tonight, I just needed to pray for her. I listened to this song and looked at her pictures and prayed for God’s hand to move in our favor so that soon, we can make good on this beautiful Promise we’ve made, my lovely little Pearl and I.
“I’ve longed for you, and I’ve desired to see your face, your smile, to be with you wherever you are.”