Our girl needs to come home.
I’ve really, really had enough of the waiting. Honestly, I’d had enough of the waiting this time last year. I was fed up in January after court, when it took five weeks to get the ruling that was promised in one. It was heartbreaking to go home in April without her, when she begged Daddy to make me stay.
I’d say I’m at the end of my rope now that my husband is back in Uganda (our third trip over) and encountering more obstacles obtaining her visa. But these hands are empty — I let go of the rope a long time ago.
Without delving into boring detail, the embassy has basically changed some of the rules on us midstream, asking for documents that aren’t listed on their checklist. They’re saying one document wasn’t acceptable because it wasn’t signed, when it clearly was (just in a different spot on the page). They wanted something rewritten, another file totally redone. And they didn’t bother telling me any of this when I was denied her visa interview in April, or when my husband first checked in with them upon arrival this month. They only make adoption visa appointments during certain hours, two days a week, so it’s not like rechecks can be done quickly. Donnie has been scrambling to obtain what they’re asking for, and covets your prayers for tomorrow, when he will go back to the embassy for yet another document check appointment.
I’m just so totally over the bureaucracy, the power trips by attorneys and government officials, the spending money we didn’t have only to find new expenditures popping up every single day. (This is a child’s HEART we’re dealing with here, and her disappointment from all the delays is the worst part of it all.)
I want to laugh when I look at that fundraising thermometer on the home page, because this process will have cost more than double that amount by the time it’s said and done. I’m laughing not because it’s funny, but at my own naivety on display. I really thought we’d make one trip to Uganda and bring her home.
We’ve been able to make it this far due to saving, fundraising and the deep generosity of friends. I hate to ask anyone to help us again, and it’s been a long time since I’ve asked for help. But now that we’ve encountered a new set of expenses and more time in Uganda (that’s resulting in my husband’s paid leave running out), we really could use some assistance on this last leg of our journey. If you are at all able to help, we welcome gifts of any size through WePay and PayPal, and I’m working on a Facebook album showcasing things we still have left for sale after last year’s fundraising. (If you’re not my friend on Facebook but would like a link to the album, please let me know).
I’m sorry to sound like Debbie Downer again. I injured my knee over a month ago in Uganda and it’s still not healing properly. I’m supposed to rest it — a LOT — far more than what’s easily manageable with three kids and no husband at home. Being in pain makes me cranky. Waiting on our daughter and missing my husband makes me grumpy. Everything combined makes Eeyore look like a bubbly optimist compared to me. Maybe say a prayer for my boys because I’m just a little ray of toxic sunshine these days and they’re the ones having to put up with me!
So many of you have truly shared in our frustration and supported us with your prayers. A few have said that they’d have given up by now. I get why they say that, but….
You don’t quit when times get tough. Even when they stay tough far longer than you ever imagined they could. Other adoptive families with greater obstacles than ours have taught me that.
Love pursues. Love persists. Love keeps going even when nothing tangible remains to fuel it.
An exhausted runner doesn’t quit a marathon at the 25.5 mile mark. She didn’t push herself so hard, for so long, to just sit down when the finish line is finally in sight.
And in the same way, you just don’t give up on love.
I think that a parent’s love, if it is anything of value, must always be a love that endures. If God never gave up on me, how can I give up on this child?
The Word says it best in chapter 13 of the book of 1 Corinthians…and I love the elaboration in this particular translation:
“Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or in order that I may glory, but have not love (God’s love in me), I gain nothing.
Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious [self-important], does not display itself haughtily.
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].”
-1 Corinthians 13:3-8 (AMP)