Another day comes and goes

Forgive me if I sound bitter, but I knew not to get my hopes up that we’d actually receive news about our court date today.

The lawyer told me exactly one week ago that by today, we’d know something. Well, business closed in Uganda several hours ago and the phone is silent.

I’m beginning to think it’s Ugandan policy to tell people what you think they want to hear instead of just being honest about situations that might be less-than-ideal. I’d prefer the honesty, truly. If it was going to take a couple weeks’ more, just tell me that. Don’t tell me something that isn’t going to happen.

What I do know, thanks to several lovely ladies who’ve already been through this process — some of whom with the same lawyer — there’s really nothing out-of-the-ordinary in it taking so dang long to get anything done over there. It helps to know that, but it doesn’t really make the reality of waiting any easier.

I’m a laid-back kind of mom, for the most part. I’m not a structured, calendar-schedule type of mother who runs a tight ship. But…when it comes to my kids, and things that are important to them, I’m like a bulldog. I head-butt my way through problems, I work to find solutions, I make things happen for them.

And dangit, I want to make this happen! I want to move on to the next chapter. I want our daughter here with us. Our sons want their sister here. We’re all tired of living life on “pause”, being afraid to make plans because we don’t know if we’re going to be in the country or not.

But I’m like a castrated bulldog in that I can’t do anything. It’s all out of my hands. The pastor called yesterday, as he’s had some Internet connectivity issues, and he said, “All day, every day, she says ‘Mom’ this and ‘Mom’ that, wanting to know if there is news from you and when you are coming.” Every person I run into asks me, “When is our girl coming?” and all I can say is that I don’t know.

I don’t know.

I’m so tired of not knowing!

But I know the One who knows. And He’s proven over and over that I can trust His plans, even when they appear to make no sense at all to me.

“But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.” -Psalm 31:14



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