Advent Letter

My dearest daughter,

Christmas is just a week away and you are heavy on my heart. Earlier, as I decorated for Christmas, I put up a plaque we were given last year, that has the names of our five family members painted on it. Your brother said, “We have to add my sister’s name to that, too! I wish she was here already. I wanted her here in time for Christmas.” His voice sounded so sad, so sincere.

He spoke what we all have been feeling.

Just as this season is filled with the anticipation of the coming of our Savior, the air around us is filled with another kind of advent: Everybody is waiting for you.

I know that if it were up to you, or me, we’d hop on a plane today and make this thing happen already. Enough of the waiting! But, we can’t. Not yet. Immigration hasn’t said you can come; my bank account is nowhere near full enough to pay for everything to come for you.

But oh, I want you to know how much everybody is looking forward to the day that it all falls into place.

I want you to know how much you are wanted, how many people in this world want God’s best for you. How many people are lifting you in prayer every single day.

You are loved, my dear.

Sometimes, late at night, when I’m supposed to be working, my thoughts drift to you. I click over to my online photo album and look through the your pictures, your beautiful face filling my computer screen as I click from one vision of loveliness to the next. I did similar things when I was pregnant with your brothers; I’d study their ultrasound photographs and feel completely in awe that God saw fit to grant me with anything as precious as a child. I couldn’t wait to see them face-to-face, to hold them, to be their mama and never let them go.

I can’t wait to hold your sweet, sweet face in my hands and kiss your cheeks and hug you tighter than you’ve ever been hugged.

And be your mama and never let you go.

Keep praying, precious girl. Keep praying, because I believe you have a special connection to His heart. And in this season of Advent, in this sweet, holy time of year, God knows more than any of us the value of the gift of a child.

Who am I, that He should bless me with another? Who am I, that He would fulfill my heart’s desire for a daughter?

Oh, what love He has for us!

Until that beautiful day that we are finally together,

Tons of love and hugs and kisses, always,

Mama

 

 

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